A New Year…an Old World…

Thought I start 2005 with a new blog entry.

What a year 2004 was! I was sure glad it was over.

On a more general note, a lot of disasters, natural or otherwise:

1. Multiple flashfloods in my home country that claimed thousands of lives:

Man-made? Certainly. The rains, though heavy should have been absorbed by the forest..HAD THEY BEEN THERE. Loggers financed by people with one-sylable surnames simply did’nt care because their homes are in posh, super-exclusive villages or even aboard instead of the provinces where the floods hit.

I hate these people. They do everything for money. Even sell their children down the river… And then you say we’re the opportunists. That’s because you’re greedy shrewds and conniving bastards (both literally and figuratively). You made “us” this way so don’t blame us if “some of us” want to kidnap you. You did it first.

Hey, I’m not generalizing. There are a few sensible people of “your kind” who do not worship money. But I only met A FEW OF THEM. Most of you live up to the generalization, despite your Jesuit (or Budhist or Confucian, whatever) education. Well, one thing’s sure, you haven’t proven me wrong yet.

NEWS FLASH!!!!! You can’t take it with you. All this stuff about burning paper things like paper cars, paper gold, paper appliances, paper mansions IS true in a sense. In the sense that things really do burn where you are going…

And don’t even bother send donations through our government either. People here have sunk so low that they even steal relief stuff from calamity victims.

2. Tsunami

Natural? Well yes, but there is a certain karma involved here. Those who were rich enough to leave this god-forsaken pathetic country and mentioned above went to places like Phuket… Too bad a way lot of innocent people had to suffer with you guys…

It’s like a reckless bus driver slams his vehicle into another. Other people pay for his mistake. Sometimes, the driver even gets away with it by either being dead with the people he killed or even by actually running away during the aftermath.

Well that’s life. Even in law school I always say, “We always pay for somebody else’s mistake…”

Want to help them? Do it through reputable organizations like the link above.

3. A lot of death

On a personal level, 2004 was beset by a lot of death (individuals not covered by those mentioned above). It seems like we entered and left 2004 and a lot them were left behind. People like some relatives, our family lawyer, famous people like ‘Da King, Christopher Reeve, Marlon Brando, etc.

On a deeper level, I personally experienced another kind of death… the death of a love. Of course you know I wrote finnis to an almost seven-year marriage. Haven’t really had the time to grieve for it yet but it will all hit me one of these days…

Again, another death I experienced is the death of idealism. Seems I likewise lost this one in 2004. Almost given up hope for the Philippines given the way we are going. Of course I can always blame somebody else. “You voted for and/or sold your vote to them…” so what you are experiencing now is what you all deserve.

Still, some “wise-guys” (shades of “Curly,” one of the Three Stooges, nyuk nyuk nyuk!) will always say, “If you can’t take it the get out.” That’s exactly what I want to do now.

Then there’s this friend of mine who WAS oozing with idealism when we both started out. I don’t know, he probably got it from his greedy, overly-ambitious, hallow, crispy-on-the-outside, maggot-infested-and-decomposing-on-the-outside boss. Now his philisophy is always to imagine and act like you are in a state of war because you think better, have better reflexes become shrewder and survive better on the outside world. Talk about metanoia! That’s a complete 180-degree turn around. Easy to figure out that it also turns you less human.

Then a though hits me…Does he practice this way of thinking on his family? Or his wife? Is he winning his war? Or his wife is?

I may not be better off that he is but if that’s the price I have to pay I’d rather continue on my life like this.

3. A lot of the same in 2005

“Same old same old.”

Almost given up hope for my country. I don’t know anymore what it will take for this country to turn around. And believe me I have first hand information on how rotten this country is. We already had “two miracles,” an EDSA I and II. Obviously, it will take more than a miracle to solve the country’s problems since it never amounted to anything. The “sick man of Asia” is dying and we need an operation, STAT!

We have to figure something out for so we can leave our children something to be proud of.

As you may have guessed, I haven’t figured it out yet. Or have the motivation to anymore.

4. Good News?

Of course there are some!

On a personal note, I have been experiencing a lot of personal growth. My experiences have forged me into a better person, in fields other than my career. I hope to get my career back on track with the help of friends that truly care. Not those that care only because of what I contribute back to them.

Of course my children are growing up healthy sans mother. But I’d rather have them grow up without one than be stuck with the one they have. If it weren’t for these guys I would have given up a long time ago. The future of my children forbids me to quit.

And then there are my TRUE friends…

Well that’s 2004 for me. Goodbye and good riddance.

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