So to blog today about this topic is very ironic for me. I may be so unqualified to say some things about marriage. But I think you can learn from me about what NOT to do…heheheheh!
First of all, marriage is not for the weak of heart. Or the undecided. To enter into marriage entails not only control of your own life, but the life of your entire family. Remember responsibility. From that day on, after the first night (if it’s still relevant), hangover and the tension from the “perfect wedding,” you start on the “perfect marriage.” And this is always a work in progress.
You start with the choice. Pardon me but from experience, I cannot overemphasize the correct choice. Forget the “heaven and “earth” romance crap you see in the movies and on TV telenovelas, chinovelas, koreanovelas, etc. Choose one who is in “your level.” Believe me, this will be the most crucial factor in the marriage.
Then you move on to the reason. Never marry for the wrong reason. Yes, you know what the wrong ones are.
Focus on the marriage, not the wedding. I think a wedding that will totally sap your finances is preposterous. My rule of thumb: If you can still put up a downpayment for a house after spending on your wedding, go ahead. If not, that’s too much.
Then, the decision/committment. Marriage is supposedly forever so there must be a commitment from each other to contribute to this “work in progress” continually. There is no time limit. You cannot say, “If this does not work out for four years, I’m withdrawing my committment.” There is also no condition. You cannot say, “If our financial situation does not improve after four years, I’m calling it quits.” (Again, these are true-to-life experiences, *cough! cough!*)
Lastly, the consequences. Especially when there are children involved. Upon getting married, think about not only you, or your spouse, but the marriage itself and your (immediate) family, your extended family and society in general. Will your marriage contribute to mankind or just be a statistic?
I think I have said enough. Two cents from a non-expert on marriage.